two stars

Reviewed by Daniel E. Jennis

Representing grossly incompetent filmmaking at its very best, “Bangkok Dangerous” tells the absurd and exaggerated story of an assassin who struggles with the ethical implications of his profession. Nicolas Cage stars as the stoic killer, a boring mess who talks in meaningless catchphrases while demonstrating typical tough-guy shtick. He has no friends or sympathy, and does his job with machine-like precision.

In Bangkok for one last mission, the hitman takes a young pickpocket under his wing and begins to kill gangsters in order to protect the holdings of his equally despicable employer. Eventually, the tortured man falls in love with a deaf woman, and begins to regret his lifestyle once her beauty and grace changes his outlook on the world. Of course, much violence and explosions ensue when the assassin tries to fight back against the local crime lords.

Nicolas Cage turns in a truly ludicrous performance in a movie that is as perplexing as it is unintentionally entertaining. His character is so bland, so nonchalant about everything, so obsessed with maintaining his rough and guarded exterior that the only possible reaction is to marvel at how Cage could have turned in such an unappealing performance.

The Pang Brothers, who are actually remaking their Thai hit of the same name, have little artistic talent, and direct the film like a highly incoherent MTV music video. Especially notable is an underwater action sequence punctuated by rapid cuts, long periods of darkness, pulsating strobes, and obvious lighting errors. These guys are so amateurish and liberal in their filmmaking choices that the horrifically overdone spectacle is quite funny.

The plot is clearly unrealistic, but I did find the main premise of the story appealing, which heightened my already abnormal desire to see what bizarre event transpired next. The pacing is slow and distracting, but at the same time the suspenseful revelation of details helps to build interest and provide a narrative focus that somewhat makes up for the horrific direction.

This isn’t a film that it is so bad it is good. The highly technical filmmaking and generic action clichés at least stabilize what could have been a massive train wreck. However, the lousy execution of the story is interesting in the sense that it is really fun to watch a movie and wonder what would compel the Pang Brothers to make such bizarre artistic decisions. After all, this is truly a film that lives up to its campy and ludicrous title.